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They are different thicknesses. Junior, medium, senior. With or without these beautifully crafted crook handles. Handles are tuppence extra.”“Worth every penny, I’d say,” said the husband picking up one and slicing it through the air. “What an exciting sound!”“Yes Sir. Satisfaction guaranteed. For a young lady wife I recommend the junior or medium size. And if by chance Sir required correction himself, then a senior would be more appropriate.”“Oh no, that won’t be necessary.” The husband reflected a little and said, “Well, I don’t think so, but don’t ask the Mrs!”“And just over here Sir, we have some local Dorset specials. These ones are crafted from local willow and give quite a different sensation. Of course, they do command a premium for the artisan work involved.”The husband duly selected four canes. Three crook-handled rattans, one in each thickness and one straight willow. As one was a senior, he would have some explaining to do to his young wife at some. "Oh, how embarrassing!" cried Dora. "I forgot I left that there." She grabbed it out of my hand, standing uncomfortably close as she did so. "There was a George Clooney movie on the telly last night," she added with a wink. There are no hard and fast rules about how we are to speak to the customers. The only rules are that there should be no physical contact more intimate than a handshake. Personally, I think it lends an air of class to come on a little posh, so I always refer to my clients as "madame". "I don't think you should really be doing that, madame," I said, on my second visit, when Dora came up behind me and began to gently stroke my right thigh while fondling my left buttock and nibbling my left ear lobe. "I don't think you really mind," she teased. "If you did you would tell me to stop. You wouldn't be all 'I don't think you should really be doing that'." She actually did quite a good impersonation of my manner, I have to give her that. "I'm sure madame is just trying.
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